


I Am The Best

by midnightindomie (sinoshi)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fanboy!Chanyeol, Fanboys - Freeform, M/M, fanboy!baekhyun, mentions of 2ne1, mentions of snsd, they literally fight and this fic is so dumb haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinoshi/pseuds/midnightindomie
Summary: Chanyeol likes 2NE1. Baekhyun likes SNSD. When Baekhyun tries to convert Chanyeol into liking SNSD, Chanyeol likes Baekhyun instead.





	I Am The Best

**Author's Note:**

> In the process of moving my old EXO fics from LJ to AO3. This was written for an exchange back in 2014. Honestly, not my best fic. I cringe when I read this lol. Anyways, if you enjoy bad crack-ish Baekyeol fics from the stone age, then you will surely enjoy this.

  
The faint sounds of Girls’ Generation’s Mr. Mr. is playing in the background. Chanyeol sighs, throwing his head back and blowing at nothing, making his cheeks puff up. He’s bored and listening to Soshi at work is not his idea of a good work day. Why don’t people listen to 2NE1 more? They’re equally as good and as talented but obviously more superior than Girls’ Generation. 4 Goddesses against 9 Genies? Pffft.

"Chanyeol, hey, we got someone at room 1303 pressing the call button repeatedly. Can you check on them?" Chanyeol sighs. He knows damn well who is in room 1303 today. It's that SONE fanclub weekly meeting group wearing Soshi t-shirts and obnoxiously singing SNSD songs in every language they've ever sang, while simultaneously dancing along to it with the perfect choreography, and in the process destroying lots of things. They get very drunk if they come on Saturday night, but thank God it's 2PM on a Thursday right now (which means they probably aren't drunk) and everyone knows it's the hottest time of the day (which means no customers but the SONE meeting). They're probably going to order some cola ("WITH ICE!") and harass Chanyeol the way they harassed Chanyeol's poor, part-time colleague Gayeon (they made her sing Taeyeon's OST for that winter drama Luhan really likes). Gayeon refuses to attend to the group when they hit the call button and/or associate herself with SONEs at all up to this day.

Chanyeol knocks on the door to the room, sighing when he hears _HEREEEE COMES TROUBLE, WHOOOO!_ being yelled by the bunch of dudes inside.

"Excuse me; someone hit the call button _repeatedly_. Anything I can help you with?" Chanyeol peeks inside and sees boys fighting over who gets to sing YoonA's _na kkamjak, menbungiya!_ part, while a boy wiggles and sings along to Taeyeon's part.

Chanyeol hates Soshi.

_MALDO ANDWAE, MALDO ANDWAE!_

He’s a Blackjack. Everyone knows that, even his manager. He’s saving up for 2NE1’s new album Crush (GOD DAMN IT DOES THAT ALBUM KILL. Gotta Be You is a jam!), and he’s saving up for their concert as well. He’d kill for the All or Nothing tour tickets, which is why he’s working his ass off trying to buy the AON tour tickets that go on sale next week. He loves his Dara nuna. Nothing can ever come between their love. Nothing.

"LOOK, HE CAME!" A guy points at Chanyeol and everyone pauses to look at him. The guy holding the mic frowns and shakes his head.

 _AYO STOP, LET ME PUT IT DOWN ANOTHER WAY!_ Chanyeol fights the urge to kick at this annoying, overrated, trash song because clearly, this song was created by a madman who doesn’t know how to make real music. 2NE1 makes real music. Come Back Home is a jam. Even Chanyeol would rather listen to sad Chinese soundtracks than this crap right now.

"No no no, we don't take Blackjacks in here.” One dude starts, side-eyeing Chanyeol’s _obviously fabulous_ 2NE1 snapback. “I don't even want to associate myself with him, even if he's serving us." The dude with the mic (Chanyeol thinks he may be the leader, because he makes all the reservations--Byun Baekhyun, that's his name) shakes his head and continues to sing.

_AAAAAAAAAH NAE WANGJANIMMMMMM_

"We want that girl Gayeon, she was nice, where is she?" Dude with mic ( _Baekhyun!_ ) asks as he dances and obnoxiously sings loudly.

_HAAAAYAN KKUMCHEOREEEEOOOOM_

"She doesn't come in today." Chanyeol makes a note to tell Gayeon to hide later when they come out in an hour.

"Liar, I saw her!" Another one says, pointing at Chanyeol accusingly.

Chanyeol shrugs. Whatever.

"Sure whatever, I'll get someone else who’s not a Blackjack to attend to you." He closes the door and sighs. Chanyeol takes off his cap and puts on his glasses, messes with his hair a bit, and opens the door once again.

“This is Park Yeolmae, how may I help you?”

\---

“How’s the saving up thing going?” Jongdae asks over Skype one night, pushing up his glasses and furiously typing something into his laptop. “You should be making enough money for something, correct?” Jongdae looks up and Chanyeol is staring at his monitor intensely.

“You’re not paying attention, are you?” Jongdae groans.

“No. How’s college life in Beijing?” Chanyeol asks absent-mindedly.

“Meh. But I met this guy named Minseok, and he’s Korean! So that’s exciting. And then he introduced me to Chinese music so I’m like, _obsessed_ with Jay Chou right now. And then there’s this female soloist named Zhang Liyin and she is _so_ pretty, and then there’s this duo—who I’m pretty sure are like, the AkMu of China—and they’re called Victoria and Zhou Mi. So how’s 2NE1 fanboying going for you? Answer me, how’s work and have you finally saved up?”

“Yeah work sucks. The SONE group keeps pestering me so to spite them I wear my 2NE1 merch to work nowadays. I’m trying to get into a 2NE1 fansign and interact with Dara nuna again. Running a fan bar for her is tiring, but I try. I really gotta get those tickets, man. But living costs in Hongdae is expensive. Tell me more about your so-called obsession.”

“Nah. You’re just going to laugh at me. But I went to one of those new Chinese music shows and I got a glimpse of Zhang Liyin. She’s drop dead gorgeous. Don’t judge me.”

“Ooh, leaving Korea means leaving behind your obsession with BoA, eh? Impressive, Kim Jongdae, impressive.”

“Yeah? At least I don’t have to work my ass off for expensive concert tickets. Didn’t the YG Family tour just got announced or something? You going?”

Chanyeol grunts and kicks at the stacks of book under his desk, before looking at his Dara shrine behind his laptop—positioned just above his desk “for motivation”—and smiles.

“Definitely. I will never miss out on any of 2NE1’s shows. Never.”

\---

Chanyeol does not expect to meet Baekhyun working at his favorite coffee shop. He’s heard from Kyungsoo—the shop’s owner and a close high school junior of Chanyeol’s—that they recently shuffled their staff’s shift, so Chanyeol may not see Sehun the high school part-timer (AKA Chanyeol’s eternal bully material) that often anymore. It disappoints Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo said it was for the safety and health of Sehun’s body and soul. And of course, so that Sehun will be more productive, but Kyungsoo cares more about the high school boy’s safety than productivity (because his mother directly asked Kyungsoo to take care of Sehun).

“Sandara? What are you doing here?” Baekhyun scoffs and rolls his eyes at the sight of Chanyeol’s awkward body walking over to the counter, eyes wide in surprise.

“Me? The real question is what are _you_ doing here, Taeyeon?” Chanyeol rolls his eyes, too.

“I work here, _duh_.” He says it as if it’s the most obvious thing ever, but how is Chanyeol supposed to know when the only employees he knows are Jongin, Sehun, and Taemin? “Make your order quick and leave, Sandara.” Baekhyun glares, making Kyungsoo clear his throat at Baekhyun’s behavior.

“Kyungsoo, see? This isn’t how you should treat a customer, Taeyeon. I’m only being slightly nice because I’m a regular here. Give me a tall green tea latte.” Kyungsoo looks at them weirdly as if questioning how they knew each other, but didn’t ask and went back to cutting the flower’s stems. This month’s theme is flowers, and it was all Jongin and Sehun’s faults for being idiots.

“Well I have a name, as you can see, I’m not Taeyeon,” Baekhyun points exaggeratedly towards his nametag, “and of course, one green tea latte coming right up!” He smiles mockingly, and Kyungsoo clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“Baekhyun, be nice, he’s my high school senior and my ‘most treasured’” –Kyungsoo makes air quotes— “regular. He pays, okay? Don’t act all sassy and have your fanwar elsewhere.”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol shout at Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo sighs, throwing the flowers he was holding violently into a vase.

“THIS IS ABOUT PRIDE!” Baekhyun yells, earning a few nervous glances from customers around them. Is a fight going to break out?

“THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A FANWAR.” Chanyeol glares daggers at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo tries desperately to shush them.

“Just—just don’t yell.” Kyungsoo frowns.

\---

It is at Music Bank that Chanyeol and Baekhyun meet once again. It’s 9 AM and they’re lining up next to each other, with their own respective groups.

Chanyeol side-eyes Baekhyun’s obnoxious pink light stick and Taeyeon banner. _Pffft, so he really does like Taeyeon, huh? I thought he was joking when he said he loved Taeyeon. The leader type? Damn, but there are finer members!_ Chanyeol internally scoffs at Baekhyun’s choice of bias. Obviously if Chanyeol had to pick a bias out of the Girls’ Generation members, he’d pick Hyoyeon. Why? Because that girl is smoking hot.

But not as hot as Dara. Nobody will ever be as hot as his Dara nuna. Dara nuna is a queen. She is a wall you can’t climb over. Not even when you’re the so-called _nation’s girlgroup_.

That’s because Dara nuna is forever.

Baekhyun glances at him and snickers—probably at the ridiculous amount of Dara banners he’s holding—and whispers over at his friend. Chanyeol rolls his eyes. How much more annoying can this guy get?

\---

“I think my host family secretly laughs at me behind my back.” Jongdae grumbles, scooping out chocolate chip ice cream straight from the tub. “That’s how bad my accent actually is. I don’t get why Lu Han doesn’t fix my accent! I need to talk to him! He knew all along, didn’t he?!”

“It’s either that or you were just a bad student, Jongdae. But to be fair, you _did_ make fun of him for liking TVXQ! and writing fanfics about Jaejoong.” Chanyeol shakes his head, tapping his pencil on the table.

“True, but still. I never thought he could be so cruel.”

“His face will fool you. That’s why you just don’t trust him.”

“How’s life?” Jongdae puts his ice cream aside and puts on a serious face. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, why? I’m just—this SONE dude keeps popping up wherever I go! He comes by every week to the karaoke bar with his friends. And you know how Kyungsoo recently did a shift shuffle? Yeah, he replaced Sehun with this dude who apparently works there. And, okay, of course I expected him to be at Music Bank, but like… No. And then there were the random encounters like him turning out to be the under for the main actor for my school’s musical which I’m playing music for. It’s shitty because he side-eyes me for my Dara obsession but he himself is worse with his Taeyeon obsession. Ugh, he’s shitty, okay?”

Jongdae laughs. “Well at least there’s someone worse than you, Yeol.”

\---

“Good morning, how may I help—“ Chanyeol squints at Baekhyun’s normal appearance. No snapbacks taken straight out of I Got A Boy’s music video, or any of those pink wristbands, or his clique. It’s just Baekhyun, alone, in a normal outfit.

“You, come with me.” Baekhyun points at Chanyeol over the counter and tugs his collar. “Come with me, now!”

And after exchanging wary glances with Gayeon, he lets himself get dragged outside by the shorter SONE.

\---

“Listen Sandara, you’re coming with me and you’re going to like Girls’ Generation. You are going to worship these 9 Goddesses until the end of time, and love them more than you’ve ever loved your Sandara nuna or the other 3 peasants. You are going to pick a Goddess to worship, and you’re going to love her and praise her and give her everything you have and surrender to the perfection that is your chosen Goddess, and you’re going to forget about the 4 earthly creatures you’ve been worshipping.” Baekhyun says it as if it was the most serious thing he’s ever said, with eyes looking up at Chanyeol full of judgment. Chanyeol gulps.

“What do you mean 4 earthly creatures?! They’re Goddesses, okay?! And you’re going to worship them _instead of me_ worshipping your 9 worthless genies. You, Taeyeon, should know that my group is better than your group!” Chanyeol scoffs, before making a move to head back in, but the shorter male has a strong grip on Chanyeol’s left wrist.

“Pfft, you think I’m going to worship a druggie? Just so you know, even though my group has dating scandals,” he says that bitterly, as if spitting out a bitter drug, “it’s still better than sneaking in drugs with jellies from the US!” Chanyeol gasps.

“Oh, okay, so now you think you’re better? Just, let me go first, stop saying disgusting things about 2NE1 you filthy little—“ Chanyeol grunts and shakes his hand out of Baekhyun’s grip.

“Got nothing to say to that, huh? YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT!!!! I WILL MAKE YOU A FUCKING SONE, JUST YOU WAIT!” Baekhyun yells, but Chanyeol only shakes his head at that.

He will never, **never** become a SONE. Never. Because he is a Blackjack. Until he dies. Forever.

\---

Baekhyun comes back for him, but this time, it is when he is at the café on a Sunday morning, when he is purposefully avoiding Baekhyun’s shift.

“Can’t escape me, huh? I’ve been texting Jongin asking if you came by, but you can kill him later, we still have to battle it out.” Baekhyun smirks and Chanyeol smirks back as he rises to his full length. He can be very intimidating when he wants to be, and he’s being intimidating right now. Baekhyun scoffs before dragging him out of the café and around the streets of the café.

“Where are you taking me?! Are you going to kill me?!” Chanyeol half-shouts and Baekhyun only shushes him before pushing him through the street, making him a human shield, before leading him into an apartment complex and before he knows it, he’s at Baekhyun’s door.

“Shit, you’re going to kill me aren’t you?! Poison me? ROB ME?! IS THIS HOW YOU LURE YOUR VICTIMS?! WHY AM I SO DUMB?!” Baekhyun hits his arm before putting a finger to his lips and it surprisingly felt cold. Baekhyun’s finger is so pretty. And cold. And it’s on his lips.

“My neighbors will hear you, shut the fuck up, Sandara.” Baekhyun tsks before heading to his kitchen. “I’m only going to feed you my Soshi collection, so shut up.”

“UNFAIR! You should get to see my 2NE1 shrine, too!” Chanyeol crosses his arms in front of his chest like a child and pouts. Baekhyun stares at him for just a second too long before handing him a can of cola.

“Relax bro, you’ll get your chance. Now where do we start…”

Chanyeol kicks at the edges of Baekhyun’s rug and huffs. _This cola may be spiked or poisoned but fuck it, I’d rather be found dead than watch a whole Soshi collection._

\---

But they’re surprisingly very good and enjoyable. It’s a different feeling when he sees how happy Soshi has made someone, the way 2NE1 has made him happy, and he tells Jongdae this on their next Skype chat.

“Oh dude, you are so fucking dumb. He could’ve been a murderer, for all we know!” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “If I could slap you over Skype, I would, just so you know. Remind me that I have 3 slaps pending for you.” Jongdae pulls up a notepad and writes something—probably a reminder to slap Chanyeol one more time.

“Come on! He looks innocent so I went with it! He just looked so happy, so I changed my mind, that maybe it’s not so bad after all. Now my mission is to try and get him to like 2NE1.”

“You are so dumb, do you know that?”

“Nope, I’ve only heard that I’m a genius.”

“4 slaps, Park Chanyeol. 4 slaps. Wait until I get back to Seoul to kick your sorry ass.”

\---

Chanyeol likes Baekhyun.

After inviting the boy over to see his 2NE1 shrine, Chanyeol sees Baekhyun and the little things he does. The way he squeaks in surprise when Chanyeol’s feet hits his own, the way he smiles when he sees Taeyeon’s Instagram update, the way he pays attention (or looks like he’s paying attention) to Chanyeol’s commentary on the 2NE1 video they’re watching, and the way he raps. He calls himself “Rap Byun”. Chanyeol laughed at that but Baekhyun looked funny and cute trying to rap to CL’s Mental Breakdown.

Perhaps Chanyeol’s just happy because Baekhyun forgets about Soshi for a day and decides to pay attention to 2NE1 for once. Perhaps it’s other things. Perhaps it’s also the way Baekhyun likes to pull at his wrists, or the way Baekhyun pouts. Perhaps it’s his fingers, or his lips, or his eyes. Maybe it’s also his voice. Maybe it’s everything.

But Chanyeol just can’t admit that he likes Baekhyun right now.

\---

And so days go by uneventfully (except for when he strangled Jongin after the whole ratting of to Baekhyun thing). Baekhyun’s off prancing with his SONE friends again and constantly tries to persuade Chanyeol into buying an SNSD album, but Chanyeol shrugs him off most of the time. He doesn’t like this feeling. The beating of his heart when Baekhyun nears, the choking he feels when Baekhyun smiles, or the way his heart starts and stops abruptly when Baekhyun accidentally touches him or laughs or looks at him or says his name instead of “Sandara”.

It’s weird and painful. How can he love a SONE? He’s a traitor to his Dara nuna.

\---

“I GOT MY FUCKING TICKETSSSS!!!!!!!!!!” He yells over the phone to Sehun who tsks at his hyung. “FINALLY!!!!! I. AM. SEEING. DARA. NUNA. DO YOU FEEL ME SEHUN.”

“No.”

“DO YOU FEEL ME.”

\---

Me: “jongdae”  
Me: “jONGDAE"  
Me: “I GOT M 2NE1 TICKET”  
Me: “H O L Y SHIT IM SEEING DARA NUNA”  
Me: “JBDAHJBDEFBEDFCSWE I CANFT FELE ANTHGYING!!1!!1!!”  
Me: “I AM DOIGN THIS SHIT JONGDAR”  
Jongdae: “yeah sure congrats bro? i guess?”  
Me: “NO YOU DON’T JUST CONGRARSTS”  
Me: “U GOTTA FEEL ME”  
Jongdae: “ssh no man i gotta study now”  
Me: “JONGDAE DONT GOOOOO DAWIRWRNJWER”  
Me: “J O N G D AE”

\---

Chanyeol nearly fanboys to Baekhyun when he sees the shorter guy in the café.

Baekhyun smiles at him and Chanyeol feels his heart race faster and he stutters like an idiot. Why is he an idiot? He sighs and buries his face in his hands as he waits for his coffee.

“Rough day?” Baekhyun asks, a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder and he flinches, looking up from his hands.

“Sort of. I got sprayed at by my boss for not cleaning properly or something. I’m in a terrible mood right now.” Chanyeol sighs and snatches the coffee from Baekhyun’s hands, sighing. “I’m heading home now. See you.”

Chanyeol doesn’t see Baekhyun’s disappointed face when he turns.

\---

They don’t talk to each other the next few times they meet, and it’s frustrating Chanyeol somehow.

So the next time they saw each other, Chanyeol pulls him aside to a quiet place and stares long and hard into Baekhyun’s pretty eyes. And he traces every single feature of his face. His eyes, his nose, his puffy cheeks, his pale pink lips, and the way his lashes make his eyes look so much more softer. Baekhyun’s bangs are getting longer, he should get a haircut. His black eyes avoid Chanyeol’s, preferring to look anywhere but Chanyeol’s eyes.

And Chanyeol doesn’t know what possessed him to do so, but against his better judgment, he presses his own lips to Baekhyun’s pale, pink ones. And it felt soft and cold, as if Baekhyun has just drank something cold. And it tastes like green tea latte mixed with red bean—like a bubble tea straight out of Chatime or a Haagen Dazs ice cream—and it felt soft. It was really soft. And Chanyeol really, really liked it, and he wants to kiss Baekhyun forever.

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol frowns. “I think I pissed you off the other day. I was upset at work, okay? Why won’t you talk to me, Taenggu?” Baekhyun’s eyes are still wide from shock, cheeks slightly red. But he quickly regains himself and kisses Chanyeol back, a deep kiss this time, a smile on Baekhyun’s face—and Chanyeol’s.

“Don’t apologize. I was dumb for being angry even though I knew you weren’t in a good mood that day, Krungy-ya~” Baekhyun smirks, and Chanyeol laughs at the way Baekhyun says it. It sounds so nice and cute, and Chanyeol wants to hug Baekhyun so tight he can’t breathe and then proceed to turn this whole thing NC-17.

But they’re still in a public place, so he decides against it.

After all, he wants Baekhyun all to himself. He knows now, just how much he loves his Baekhyun over Dara nuna.

But not really because Dara nuna is a queen, and Dara nuna is forever.

There’s only Dara nuna in his heart. But he guesses Baekhyun can share the space, the way he has to share a space with Taeyeon nuna.

(But Dara nuna really is forever. Chanyeol isn’t joking.)  


**Author's Note:**

> In loving memory,  
> RIP 2NE1.


End file.
